The view from No. 29

In order to get a fix on who the Colts will draft, you need to look at what the other 31 teams need.

I know the Super Bowl hasn't been played yet and that free agency has not begun and that the Combine is still a long way off. But the Colts are out of it, so it's time to talk draft.

Of course, it's way too early to make any sort of forecasts or projections.1 I've seen some tape and read some things, but I still don't know enough about the players to have any kind of idea of how they will stack up.

But I have been studying the NFL and I think I have a pretty good idea of what each team needs, at least before the free-agency bloodletting begins. Twenty-eight teams get to pick before the Colts do, so it seems like it makes sense to at least try to figure out what sort of players might be remaining. Let me share the fruits of my Zinfandel-addled research with you:

Chargers: You have to feel for LaDanian Tomlinson. The guy rushed for 1,645 yards2 and 13 touchdowns, he caught 100 passes and had a 158.3 rating as a passer;3 he even recovered more fumbles than he had. And to top it all off, he's also a great guy. You could, reasonably, say he's the best player in football not named Peyton Manning.

So why was his team the worst in the league? Easy, they had problems at quarterback, wide receiver, tight end, center, guard, tackle, defensive tackle, defensive end, inside linebacker, outside linebacker, cornerback and safety. The Chargers were just a very bad team. Except for Tomlinson.

So, it would make sense to trade the pick and get more players, right? I disagree. You acquire stars when you can, you fill in holes when you can't get stars. The Chargers have the top pick in the draft, a chance to acquire a Manning,4 and shouldn't pass that up. Yes, I know they were burned on Ryan Leaf, but every team gets an Art Schlichter every once in a while and the Chargers just had one. And, come on, what draft pick is safer than a Manning?

If the Chargers are going to move to the Promised Land, they will be dragged there by another great player, not a collection of good ones. If they pass on Eli, you'll know that it was because they didn't want to pay him what he would command. That raises a very important question — if owner Alex Spanos isn't willing to pay for an Eli Manning, does he deserve a 4-12 team? Sure he does, but Tomlinson doesn't.

Raiders: If you want to see exactly what is wrong with draft predictors, watch what they say about the Raiders. Never has a team needed a quarterback more.5 Rich Gannon had a horrible year even before he was hurt, and he's thirty-frickin'-nine. It is so over. Marques Tuiasosopo is a tough guy who's a real team player, but not a front-line NFL quarterback. And then there's Rick Mirer, who is famous for being Rick Mirer.6 They also have Rob Johnson7 and Tee Martin. Having five quarterbacks on your roster with a reasonable shot at starting means you don't actually have any.

But the self-proclaimed experts will tell us the Raiders need a receiver, a pass-rusher or a safety. A safety? Who was the best safety in your memory? Ronnie Lott? How many tickets did Lott sell? Okay, you and me (an old defensive back) would pay to see Ronnie Lott hit people in shockingly elegant and artistic ways, but the other 70,000 people in the stands were there to see some guy named Joe Montana. Owner Al Davis is a lot of things, but he's not a bad marketer. He knows that a big-time quarterback will fill seats and that the best safety in history will impress you and me. What would you do?

Cardinals: I love the Cards, great uniforms, nice stadium and such a poor front office that they make me think I'd be a decent NFL general manager.

The Cardinals seem to have no plan. They're young and rebuilding, so they break the bank to sign an antique like Emmitt Smith8 and anoint much-traveled, largely unsuccessful Jeff Blake as their quarterback. Sure they stumbled on Anquan Boldin in the draft, but they did pick Calvin Pace (instead of local hero Terrell Suggs) and Bryant Johnson ahead of him. Not surprisingly, neither Smith and Blake were factors by the end of the season. Slow-as-molasses Marcel Shipp is the back they have hitched the wagon to and some guy named Josh McCown is the guy they handed the reins to.9 Both have potential, but neither is the star that will bring wins and credibility to the desert.

O star-crossed team that thou art, thou poor redbirds, you pick third in a draft with two franchise quarterbacks and no running backs worth mentioning.

Further compounding the problem is the fact that the best prospects available at this point play wide receiver (Pittsburgh's Larry Fitzgerald and Texas' Roy Williams), safety (Miami's Sean Taylor) or offensive tackle (Iowa's Robert Gallery and Arkansas' Shane Andrews), all of which are positions of relative strength in Arizona. Logic would dictate that it would be smart to trade down, but not after last year's debacle in which the Cards bypassed sack machine Suggs to grab an iffy wideout in the early stages of his development and an end who has the potential, if he works hard, to be average. The next most sensible option would be to reach down, grab the best player at a need position and live with it. A kid like USC's Kenechi Udeze would go a long way towards solving their chronic pass-rush woes, but he'd also represent another draft pick spent on rushing the passer and another constant reminder that Suggs wears black for home games and not red.

Giants: I was working at the sports section of a newspaper in the heart of Giantsland last September and was surrounded by Big Blue fans that were glorying in their potentially explosive offense and quietly harboring Super Bowl dreams. I didn't tell them what I thought at the time; I just didn't feel it was my place.10 Now that it's well after the fact, I can point out that for an offense to work, blockers are necessary. I don't want to point the finger here, but when your best lineman is a fifth-round pick who played like a second-round pick, you know you're in real trouble.

It was bad, really, really bad. Kerry Collins was constantly running for his life,11 Tiki Barber was a hunted man and the receivers dutifully ran their routes knowing that if the ball was coming their way that it was just a desperate, panicked cry for help.

The line was a calculated gamble that exploded in the team's face like a cigar from Bugs Bunny. They had so much faith in line coach Jim McNally's ability to raise an average player's game to good, that they gave him a bunch of below-average players in hopes he could make them at least adequate. A great position coach McNally may be, but a magician he is not. The line was an atrocity.

But the bluemen are as lucky as the redbirds are cursed. There is an embarrassment of wealth of offensive linemen in this draft. Sure, the back pages of the tabloids12 might pound their fists and demand more excitement, but Ernie Accorsi won't make the same mistake twice. The Giants will get a massive side of beef and Collins and Barber will finally exhale.

Redskins: So we're this far down the draft and Sean Taylor, Larry Fitzgerald and Roy Williams haven't been selected? No. This is not a mock draft or projection, but an indication of what each team needs. Players will rise and fall, picks will be traded, things will change. But these truths I do hold self-evident: a) the Redskins offensive line played poorly last year, but that was because of poor coaching and motivation, not a lack of talent, b) Washington ended the season with a pair of nobodies — Lional Dalton and Bernard Holsey13 — as their top defensive tackles, c) no part of this team could not be markedly improved by a hot talent injection,14 and d) Redskins owner Daniel Snyder is easily star-struck and reserves the right to screw up his team with childish moves. Be assured that the Redskins top pick will result in the acquisition of a name player. They might trade up, trade for a player or stay where they are and pick a guy like Larry Fitzgerald.

Lions: After losing 119 games, last year, the Tigers have made a concerted effort to improve. They fixed the middle infield with Fernando Vina and Carlos Guillen, added some pop and experience with Pudge Rodriguez and Rondell White and stabilized a promising staff with Jason Johnson. They aren't the '27 Yankees, but they're moving forward. I'm just not entirely sure we can say that about the Lions.

Stout defensive tackle Shaun Rogers could play on most any team, quarterback Joey Harrington has a future, wide receiver Charles Rogers was an obvious pick and they totally lucked into Dre' Bly15 when all the corners they really wanted said no. Other than that, they're just a bunch of guys.

Using their top pick for any position other than quarterback would help, but the most obvious need is for a running back. Running back James Stewart was never fast enough even before he was injury-prone and old and Olandis Gary is very ordinary when he doesn't have Denver's line in front of him. There's no slam-dunk runner available in this draft, but there's a lot to like about Oregon State's Steven Jackson. He's a big guy who can catch the ball. A smart trade down might still net him and bring in even more much-needed reinforcements.16

Falcons: Was it a huge surprise that the Falcons were terrible without Michael Vick and pretty good with him? No, but you have got to admit you didn't think the defense would be that awful. The front seven has some real players. I watched some tape and realized that the problem was that pig-headed Wade Phillips17 who insisted they play a 3-4 defense despite having no authentic nose tackle, lightweight ends and just three starting-quality linebackers. New head coach Jim Mora18 and defensive coordinator Ed Donatell will have none of that nonsense.

That doesn't mean you can scratch the front seven from your Falcons draft board, just that they have more flexibility than you may have thought. Their defensive backs are not very good, and their best one19 is an often-injured unrestricted free agent. The offensive line is small and soft in the middle and the tackles are getting old. Vick would be far more effective with receivers more courageous than Peerless Price and younger and healthier than Brian Finneran.

Basically, they can go anywhere except quarterback and benefit, but I think Mora (a former defensive coordinator himself) will grab the best defensive player still available. If Sean Taylor drops this far, Mora will be ecstatic.

Browns: I know a guy who's a Browns fan, and when we worked together he would constantly bemoan the foibles of his team, but could never fix on where they needed help the most.20 Well, Scooter, I'll tell ya. Now that your boys have hired a decent offensive coordinator in Terry Robiskie, they will be smart enough to hand the ball to one quarterback and settle on one back. I'm not sure if the quarterback will be Tim Couch or Kelly Holcomb, but I know the halfback will be Lee Suggs. He's the real deal. With Suggs carrying the ball, the offense will be immensely improved, no matter who is handing it to him.

The line doesn't scare anyone or impress anyone or actually even block effectively, but the real problem is the team's defense. The young, talented linebackers have an annoying habit of letting people tear off 80-yard runs while they point fingers at each other, but that will improve as they mature. Still, no amount of growing up will help their linemen rush the passer. Ohio State's Will Smith is the best pass-rusher left on the board but this is way too high for him. They could trade down or, if Andrews is still available, draft him, make Suggs and whichever quarterback they choose happy and try to fix the pass-rush later on.21

Jaguars: Colts fans are more aware than most that the Jaguars are a dangerous team on the rise. Tough defense, big line, elusive runner and a young quarterback with big-time ability.

There are, however, two gaping holes on this otherwise talented team. The first is at defensive end. The Jags were prepared to live with the fact that neither Hugh Douglas nor Tony Brackens really tried very hard on running plays because they applied good pressure. Note the past tense. Last year the pair generated about as much heat as a Grandmas Gone Wild video, making the position an area of great need, despite their huge salaries.

The situation is just as dire at wide receiver. Look at their leaders from last year: Jimmy Smith (35 years old in three weeks and with a lot of hard mileage), Troy Edwards (5'9 and a career underachiever), Kevin Johnson (a famously selfish player who got himself kicked off the talent-deprived Browns), Matthew Hatchette (a guy with suspect hands and toughness who's been cut six times), Cortez Hankton (who was thrown to 41 times but emerged with just 17 catches for a paltry 166 yards), JJ Stokes (so bad, even the Jags cut him), Jermaine Lewis (a tiny return man who is not effective at anything else) and a guy named Jimmy Redmond who is nobody till somebody loves him.

It makes a GM's job easy when the team's weaknesses are as obvious as the Jags'.

Texans: It's time for the Texans to shed their expansion team mantle. It must be so annoying to play or work for the team and to keep hearing everyone say "but they are always competitive" and other such condescending rationalizations. The Texans need to say to themselves that they are no longer an expansion team, they are a team. Indeed they are a team with a great deal of talent at the skill positions. At the blue-collar spots, though, they need work. They play a 3-4 defense, but are still two starters short of a line (assuming Gary Walker returns from injury) and their offensive line could be easily improved at least three positions.

So a big guy is coming to Houston? Almost assuredly — unless a superfine defensive back or extra-special wide receiver just happens to be still on the board.

Steelers: Here is where you see mock-makers up to their old tricks. Almost every mock I have seen so far has Pittsburgh drafting Steven Jackson. I will admit that the Steelers desperately need a new running back and that Jackson is a perfect fit, but I don't see him lasting until the Steelers pick and I don't think the team has the guts or the ammo to trade up to get him.22

Many draftniks are Steelers fans or Steelers sympathizers, so they want to see Pittsburgh get its man. I, for one, don't care who they get. They need a back (and no position is easier for a rookie to excel at) or two, and may settle for the draft's No. 2 back. Oddly, the three best backs after Jackson are all named Jones.23 Florida State's Greg Jones is a 250-pounder who always falls forward. He's had knee problems in the past and needs to learn what those new-fangled forward passes are, but could dominate between the tackles if teh Senior Bowl was any indication. That would take pressure off ... who exactly? Do they hand the ball back into the shaky hands of Tommy Maddox? Since the only other two quarterbacks on the roster are Charlie Batch and some fine fellow named Brian St. Pierre, I think they have to. They could conceivably draft a quarterback, but I don't see it.

Even if they could masterfully pull off a trade that netted them a starting runner and an heir-apparent at quarterback, they still have a tragic situation at cornerback. Bad times are looming.

Jets: The Jets are basically the Falcons with uglier uniforms. Terrible without their star quarterback, okay with him, dragging a deadweight defense behind them and desperate for wide receivers that can catch the ball. The defense won't be fixed by a simple change of coordinators, though. The Meadowlands' junior residents24 have a set of linebackers who can only be described by words too vulgar for use on the family-friendly regions of the Internet. Soph Victor Hobson gives them some hope, but he needs a tough young running mate. Rookie wideouts are always a gamble no matter where you draft them, but the Jets need someone better than Jon Carter out there25 since Wayne Chrebet is probably going to retire and Curtis Conway is likely to be cut.

Where will the Jets go? I'm not really sure, but I can tell you from experience that no matter what they do, the hordes of green-clad fat guys who will be in attendance in the Madison Square Garden Theater in April will boo lustily. They always do.

Buffalo: I always hated the Bills, but it's difficult not to feel sorry for them now. Their Super Bowl aspirations were derailed early and they suffered yet another coaching change.26 But there is hope. The defense — assuming they re-sign or replace cornerback Antoine Winfield27 — is okay and has coordinator Jerry Gray around to keep them creative and aggressive. And with Willis McGahee using his rookie year to heal his ACL, it's like having an extra first-round pick. New offensive coordinator Tom Clements28 should be able to help hard-luck quarterback Drew Bledsoe get out of his funk, but he'll need help. The offensive line is the major culprit in Bledsoe's decline, although the receivers didn't help much either. The difference between the two, though, is that any or all of the Bills' top four receivers could emerge if they gain maturity and/or toughness, while the line is simply bad. If Kellen Winslow Jr. falls this far, the Bills would snap him up. More likely, however, Buffalo will add some big ugly guy to help Bledsoe get his groove back and help McGahee get his groove on.

Bears: Lovie Smith is a lucky man. I mean as lucky as a guy named Lovie29 can be. He's taking over a team with great prospects at quarterback, running back, linebacker and cornerback. He has a great play-caller in offensive coordinator Terry Shea. He's going to fix a team that was on its way up anyway. And he will get to do it by doing what he does best, installing and coaching an aggressive, confusing defense. The job may be clear, but it won't be easy. Lazy play by the defensive tackles had blockers all over middle linebacker Brian Urlacher and, even worse, the Bears recorded fewer sacks as a team than Giants defensive end Michael Strahan30 had by himself. The receivers aren't great and the offensive line could use some help, but the defensive line is an absolute disaster. A man named Lovie has the will to fix this, trust me.

Buccaneers: No matter what happens for the rest of my life, nobody will ever take away the memories of the Colts' miraculous come-from-way-behind victory against the very-much-in-love-with-themselves Bucs last season. Tampa Bay imploded after that and Keyshawn Johnson and Warren Sapp began to realize that people don't find their personalities delightful.31 Before you paint me in the colors of a player hater, I didn't wish a team ill will because it won the Super Bowl, but because it is populated by a bunch of ... uhm, how shall I say this? ... unsavory characters. Tampa Bay has tons of talent on its roster, but a real need to play like a team again. If I were in charge there, I'd grab a character guy at any position. But if we are looking for a position where they need an upgrade I'd have to say running back, linebacker or offensive line.

49ers: How about this for good planning — the Niners have unrestricted free agents at both wide receiver spots,32 half of their starting defensive line, both starting cornerbacks, their best linebacker and their kicker; they have restricted free agents at starting tight end and halfback; their offensive line is old and small; and they are just $793,000 under the cap. Plus, and they could not have planned this, their embattled starting quarterback was just arrested for DUI.

My advice is to tear it up and build it again. Cut everyone who makes any money, sign your young stars and sit out a couple of bad seasons while you rebuild. Who will they draft? Who knows? It is at this point where I really would pick the best available athlete, no matter what position he plays.

Bengals: Although the best thing they did was hire a good coach who brooks no nonsense,33 look at the draft the Bengals had: 1) Carson Palmer, the quarterback of the future who has yet to play a down; 2) Eric Steinbach, a starting guard and future star; 3) Kelley Washington, a tall, promising wide receiver and potential star; 4) Dennis Weathersby,34 a big strong corner who'll probably start this year; 4a) Jeremi Johnson, a 270-pound starting fullback; 5) Khalid Abdullah, a talented nickel linebacker who could eventually start; 6) Langston Moore, a nose tackle prospect with some potential; and 7) Scott Kooistra, the team's third tackle last year who could move inside and start this year.35

This is clearly a team with a future, but a marked inability to stop the run was the team's obvious failing last season. Interestingly, both of the Bengals' starting safeties are unrestricted free agents and neither is a player you'd put on a billboard anyway. A Mike Doss-type of player would do wonders here. Personally, I don't like any of this year's safeties other than Sean Taylor36 — who'll be long gone by this pick —but after last year's draft, I no longer think I'm smarter than the Bengals' front office. Maybe they grab a guy like Georgia's Sean Jones, maybe they trade down, maybe they trade up for Taylor, maybe they grab a big defensive tackle like Texas' Marcus Tubbs. I don't know, but I bet it'll be a good move.

Saints: The Saints are in a strange spot. They have a quarterback who's not good enough to lead them to the Promised Land and not quite bad enough to be replaced either. Perhaps I'm too hard on Aaron Brooks, quarterback play is hardly what's keeping New Orleans near the top of the draft. They simply can't stop the run. They need lots of help at a lot of positions, but none more than linebacker. None of their three incumbent starters impresses anyone and two of them are free agents. Hard to believe that this is the same team that once sent four linebackers to the Pro Bowl.37 It's a slim year for linebacker talent, but the Saints are desperate. If there's not a guy they like here, I'd recommend they trade down, it's not like they're not in almost as desperate for new cornerbacks38 and defensive ends as they are for linebackers. This is one rare case where draft quantity may help more than quality.

Vikings: I make an effort to try to look deep into a team's soul39 and analyze it until I can see the draft from their perspective, but needs don't come simpler than this — offense great, defense bad.40 More specifically, the Vikings have a pair of ballhawking safeties (who can be had deep), two nice defensive tackles and some okay linebackers and a bunch of other defenders who could be very easily replaced. A pass-rushing end or a cornerback would be appropriate here.

Dolphins: Dan Marino is back! All the Dolphins prayers are answered! Wait, he's in the front office? The guy who never paid any attention to film or meetings? Then I guess the Fish still need a passer. I know, I know, Jay Fiedler has a great winning percentage, but that's generally because the rest of the team is pretty good and he's not awful.41 I don't think they'll replace him with a first rounder quite yet. I'm not sure there's anyone here worth the pick42 and they think they're close enough to being good that a long-term project just isn't in the mix. Instead, I think they'll go after a much-needed wide receiver or maybe an offensive lineman and hope that better blocking will help raise Ricky Williams' average per carry up from last year's pitiable 3.50. It won't make Fiedler's arm any stronger, though.

Patriots: Who cares what they do with this pick? Or the other one. The Pats are in the Super Bowl and will probably win despite not having all that much proven talent. They could draft Mena Suvari and she'd make the Pro Bowl. Am I bitter? Yes. But for consistency's sake, let's say they'll grab a running back with their No. 1 and a cornerback with No. 1a.

Cowboys: We all know how badly the Cowboys need a running back. Troy Hambrick, last year's starter, won't be back and the top running back under contract is some guy named Erik Bickerstaff, but we also all know that Bill Parcells won't get trapped in a draft-day corner. He's too wily. We also know that Corey Dillon, a back that has rushed for more than 1,100 yards in six of his seven NFL seasons, has a reasonable contract and lost his job in Cincinnati for being an idiot. Parcells deals well with idiots. Dillon could be had for a song and would allow the Pokes to acquire the pass-rusher, cornerback or quarterback of the future they really need.

Seahawks: Waddaya know, another team desperate for linebackers in a draft almost devoid of them. Barring a major reach, the Seahawks are likely to grab a pass-rushing defensive end instead.

Broncos: The Broncos are like the Patriots, no matter what players they put on the field, they're still usually pretty good.43 Still, three of their top four linebackers are unrestricted free agents. But they could re-sign any or all and have young Terry Pierce waiting impatiently just offstage. In that case, they'd love to improve their cornerback corps, especially now that Deltha O'Neal has been transformed into a wide receiver.44

Packers: Every year for a while now, every draft predictor (even me) has been fooled into thinking that the Packers would draft Brett Favre's eventual replacement in the first round and the Packers have done something else. IÕm not falling into that trap this year. Give me a big ol' offensive tackle at this spot. Or a tight end. Or a defensive back. I now wholeheartedly believe that Favre will play forever.

Rams: Linemen. Offensive or defensive.45

Titans: I know what you're all thinking — Tennessee will grab a running back to replace creaky old Eddie George. Perhaps, but not necessarily. See, the Titans will cut one of their starting offensive tackles and probably not have enough money to replace him with a free agent of similar quality. They have nice young runner in Chris Brown, but their third tackle is elderly Colts reject Jason Mathews. So, before you pencil in one of the Joneses here, take a look at the big boys.

Eagles: It always struck me as odd that it's called football. Only two or three guys out of 53 ever touch the ball with their foot and even then it only happens every six or seven plays. In Philadelphia, though, the ball part of the game's name is just as much in question. Only one guy — quarterback Donovan McNabb — has any business touching the ball. They could use five new receivers and three new halfbacks. And it's not even that easy for Philly. They also have a defense that's relatively easy to run on and their second-best linebacker and both starting corners are unrestricted free agents. They could go any number of places with their top pick, but I think the guilt of not giving McNabb any help will finally get to them and they'll give him a reliable back or a pair of hands.

Panthers: I think it's clear that you leave a defense like this alone. The Panthers' passing game isn't great and could use a boost. All three tight ends on the roster are free agents and none is that good anyway. Unless a really great guard prospect wows them, I think they'll grab a wideout or a tight end.

Ravens: The Ravens are a good team with a poor passing attack. Oh, it will improve as last year's rookie quarterback Kyle Boller46 is this year's soph, but he really needs someone other than tight end Todd Heap47 to throw to. Their wide receivers are simply not very good. They've been burned at the position in drafts before, but I think they'll try again.

Notes

1 At least I think so, but the Internet is loaded with morons, profiteers and psychics who disagree. To me a January draft prediction is as valuable as one of those fun but insipid computer-generated World Series projections.

2 Their next best back, Lorenzo Neal, had 18 carries for 40 yards. That's 2.43 percent of Tomlinson's total.

3 Okay, he only threw one pass, but it was for a 21-yard touchdown.

4 And I don't mean Ricky Manning Jr., although he is a great player and one of the best third-round steals ever.

5 Not counting the '82 Colts, who, before the draft, had just David Humm on their roster. They picked Schlichter in the first round (one pick ahead of Jim McMahon) and band-aid Mike Pagel in the fourth.

6 I bet he could have been a player if the 49ers had picked him liked Bill Walsh wanted them to. Or maybe not. I mean, it's hard to disagree with Walsh on quarterbacks, but Mirer has been really bad in the NFL.

7 Football's answer to Nuke LaLoosh — hell of a thrower, terrible ballplayer.

8 I guess Jim Brown was busy.

9 Enough already about that last-play touchdown pass to Nat Poole that kept the Vikings out of the playoffs. McCown hasn't convinced me of anything yet. He has a live arm and crazy legs, but gets sacked a lot and led his team to a 1-3 record as a starter.

10 A rare occasion on which I did not shoot my mouth off.

11 And he runs like Elaine Benes dances. Collins is a legit quarterback, but don't expect him to be a Jake Plummer-style esacpe artist.

12 I used to work for one of them, so I know.

13 Yes, the rather sluggish former Colts end is someone's idea of a starting tackle. Okay, Ellis Johnson I could understand, but Holsey?

14 I like Patrick Ramsey, but with the pounding he took last year, it may be wise to invest in another quarterback.

15 I have always had a fondness for tough, undersized corners. Bly would have made a great Colt.

16 I wouldn't go too far down, though. A lot of middle-of-the-road teams need new feature backs and Jackson's size and efficiency in the passing game make him very tempting. Pittsburgh leaps to mind.

17 I find it hard for me to dislike Wade Phillips because I positively revere his old man.

18 Not him, his son. But don't call him Junior, he doesn't like it. Still, I think he should differentiate himself by being called Jimmy or Jimbo or something.

19 Juran Bolden, who's likely to move on. Washington is said to be interested.

20 Start with that name. And those uniforms. Brown on brown? What is this, the AV Club?

21 Or in the dangerous, bust-infested waters of free agency, where anyone who can find his way to a quarterback can almost write his own contract.

22 If you ever want to know how the Steelers work, ask Chad Pennington. His draft-day stories about them are hilarious.

23 Florida State's Greg, Virginia Tech's Kevin and Notre Dame's Julius.

24 How can the Jets call Giants Stadium home? Corprate names on stadiums are bad enough, but to have another teams'? Where's the pride?

25 Despite his size, Santana Moss is a fine No. 1 wideout as long as he's not alone out there.

26 I had no love for Gregg Williams, but a coaching change generally sets back a program no matter who they get. Unless it's crazy Dick Vermeil or mad Bill Parcells. A rule of thumb: All good coaches are totally insane — look at Bill Belichick.

27 He's only 5'9 or something, but from what I've seen, he can handle any size receiver.

28 I met him a couple of times when I was in high school and he was a very successful quarterback for my hometown Hamilton Tiger-Cats (believe it or not, we played in the same stadium). Pretty sharp guy, definitely a people person. I'd love to see him get a shot as a head coach.

29 I wonder if his parents were big fans of Gilligan's Island — if so, I think Ginger or Skipper would have been a better name — or thought that they'd toughen him up using the old "Boy Named Sue" concept. Either way, Lovie turned out to be a pretty driven and courageous guy.

30 Strahan won 18.5 to 18. And he was double-teamed on virtually every play. If I was an offensive coordinator playing last year's Bears, I would have sent my tackles on pass patterns and let the inside guys handle the pass rushers. Oh wait, that's against the rules, never mind.

31 Set aside the brattiness, neither was very productive last season. Maybe their hurt feelings affected their confidence on the field. Actually, I both of those guys are impervious to criticism.

32 Admittedly, neither is worth keeping anyway. Terrell Owens, ugh. He'll have a job and may succeed statistically in the future, but what kind of player openly criticizes his quarterback on his Web site? This is worse than the Colts' "idiot kicker" incident because: a) the criticism was blunter and less constructive, and b) kickers and quarterbacks don't have a hands-on playing relationship. Now if Vanderjagt had complained about his holder or snapper ... Anyway, young Brandon Lloyd is the future at wide receiver for San Fran.

33 Did you see the way Marvin Lewis showed Corey Dillon who was boss? Did you like the way he got Chad Johnson to be humble even after his guarantee to beat the heretofore-undefeated Chiefs came true? Lewis is definitely in large and in charge in Cincinnati.

34 Yeah, the guy who was looking like a first-round pick until he was shot days before the draft. I wasn't in love with him before the shooting, but he represents incredible value in the fourth round.

35 This guy had Colts written all over him, but I guess Polian like Makoa Freitas better. In retrospect, he was probably right.

36 Before you get on me about Matt Ware, I project him as a king-sized cornerback and drafted at the bottom of the first round.

37 Back in the day of Jim Mora the elder — 1992. Can you remember them? Rickey Jackson, Vaughn Johnson, Sam Mills and Pat Swilling.

38 They'll grab the best corner they can afford in free agency though. It's not like Charles Woodson is going to buy a new house in Oakland.

39 It could be argued that the Vikes are the most soulless of all NFL teams, but that's another article.

40 Argh, I sound like some hack talking about the Colts. But, in my own defense, at least I can name all the starters on Minnesota's defense. How many of those Internet draft predictors do you think know who Montae Reagor is?

41 And the hideous performances his backups — Ray Lucas and Brian Griese — have put in have made him look like John Elway in comparison.

42 Although that kid from N.C. State — Philip Rivers — could be this year's Kyle Boller. Maybe better.

43 At least as long as their starting quarterback — Jake Plummer these days — is taking the snaps.

44 It's about time, O'Neal is one of the most naturally elusive runners I have ever seen. Why they moved him from running back to cornerback at Cal continues to mystify me. He can't cover and he can't hit. What did they expect, five interceptions a game?

45 I'm not being lazy here, it really is that simple.

46 I know that Anthony Wright was their starter when they got hot, but Boller is definitely the future behind center in Baltimore.

47 How do I know the guy is a good receiver? He was four-for-four on two-point conversions. Remarkable.